I have a friend who is being bullied. No, she is not in high school. She is a grown woman. But someone wants her to do what they want and is threatening her. The way I see it this is her chance to stand on her hind legs and refuse to be bullied.
It’s easier to go along with things. Most of the time we tend to do that because it takes less energy and it’s seems to be more pleasant than a face off. But is it really easier? What does it cost to back down all the time?
I am not advocating fighting with anyone. Or attacking. That is the furthest from my mind. What I am saying is there comes a time when we have to stand for what is right for us. When someone infringes on our personal space, either internal or external, we have to stand firm. Not fight but also not back down.
The thing with bullies is once challenged or faced with someone who won’t do what they want, they tend to find someone else who will. A bully is that way because there is something so fragile in them they have to bend others to their will in order to feel okay. It is not a position of strength. It is an admission of weakness, of feeling that they are not enough.
Bullying can be subtle. But you can feel it when it’s going on. The questions needs to be – what will you put up with? What is going too far? What is important to you? Where will you take a stand?
Once you know those answers the rest is easy although uncomfortable. But, you will never be free until you know you can count on yourself to stand for what is important to you.
When you know our own boundaries, it makes relationships much easier. It also means you don’t have to defend because you know where you stand. The funny or even miraculous thing about knowing your boundaries is that people can sense it. They will be less likely to try to push or bully you. You have made your statement about who you are just by the energy that comes from you out into the world.
You are the power in your own life. No one can take that from you. So, don’t give it up. It is yours!
My best you,