The many disguises of fear can fool even the wiliest of us. Its arguments can seem so logical and it can pass itself off as something totally unrelated so we don’t even suspect. Some of its more creative guises can be feeling too tired to go out or to finish a task. When the truth is we are afraid of going to wherever it is we’re supposed to go and being with whomever we would be with if we did. Or, the work we need to do seems more than we can handle at the time and we don’t feel confident, so we pass it off as being too tired.
One of the trickiest ways it hides itself is when we interact with others. We can judge a person as being insensitive, aggressive, uncaring. When the truth is, we are so scared we are hiding our true feelings or we don’t dare stand up for ourselves for fear of being judged or offending someone so they think badly of us.
Fear can make itself felt when we don’t trust others. Especially, if we put that on a class of people. Logically, we know that we cannot judge a whole race, nation or organization by the conduct or beliefs of one or a few of its members. It just doesn’t make any sense. Yet, that’s exactly what seems to be going on so often. We project some fear onto a faceless group.
At times, if we side with others, especially a large group, we don’t feel so alone and we can hide our fear within that group. Being human there is an existential loneliness and that comes with our mortal condition. As we mature, we just accept it and learn to relate to a larger source than us, called God, the Universe, Universal Intelligence, etc. It’s known by many names but it is something all humans connect to in some way. The more we are connected to it, in whatever way we understand it, the more calm and centered we can become. However, again, being human, we forget and can go into our fear if we are not alert. It happens to the best and wisest of us. No one is immune to fear.
A quick way to find out if you are under the spell of your particular fears, is checking how you feel. If you are upset, angry, confused or hiding out, you are under the sway of fear. At those moments, the best we can do is breathe, try to find something that feels good such as getting out in nature, exercising, watching an uplifting movie, listening to music. Those things help us remember who we really are. For, while we are human we also have the spark of the divine within us. We are both things in this complex situation called human being. We are more than how we perceive ourselves when captivated by fear. Just remembering that can shift us back into our true self.
So, be on the lookout for your fears. Don’t be impressed by them and know in truth, there is nothing they can do to you. They cannot harm you. And, you can snap out of them with just a bit of effort and they will be gone. Remember: It’s only fear
You are more powerful than your fear would have you think. Don’t be fooled.
My best to you,
Dianne, Accountability Coach