We’ve all heard the expression – “It’s not personal.” But sometimes it sure feels like it. In truth, people’s actions are dictated by their specific take on life. Since we all have had experiences which have shaped us none of us acts from a place of neutrality. We all have our personal spin on things. Which means that our actions and those of people around us are based on that personal spin.
In other words, twenty people could see the same thing or go through the same experience and interpret it twenty different ways. Every-once-in-a-while our viewpoints intersect as there is enough of a shared experience for this to happen. At those moments, we feel that we are understood. We feel validated by the people who seem to understand as we do.
Long way around to say something that might be interpreted by us as a slight or an intended hurt is really just that person’s dealing with life the way they have been taught. We just happen to be standing in their proximity. It was never about us. It was just about them.
The same is true for our behavior toward others. Once we understand that concept it allows us to take full responsibility for what we experience. And full responsibility for how we interact with others.
I saw a PBS program last night where the presenter said since we are in denial about our mortality we remain stuck in adolescence. We never grow up. Interesting point of view. It would explain how we treat one another and ourselves at times. Adolescents don’t take responsibility for their behavior because they haven’t matured to the place where they would think like that. Adolescents are focused solely on their immediate needs and wants. Which is appropriate for that stage of development. Their task is to understand and learn to fit into the world around them.
Maybe it’s time to grow up? Maybe it’s time to accept that our interpretation of events is because of our specific filters. Then we can allow others to have their own experience and behaviors and not take it personally, knowing it’s all about them. Same goes for us. What we do, say, believe, how we act is all about us.
Wonder how the world would change if we could do that. Interesting thought.
It’s so freeing when you understand that you have the power to interpret things the way you choose. That interpretation will shape your experience of life.
My best to you,