Like many people I struggle with saying what’s in my heart and mind for fear of offending someone. But, there comes a time when, in order to be true to ourselves we have to speak up. This is such a time. While, I agree that civility must be there, and it’s never okay to attack anyone no matter how you feel, however, you have to say what is true for you, knowing that you will get feedback. No one likes being attacked for something they said. But not saying it is worse.
Here are some quotes which put it so well:
“If everyone likes you, you’re not doing it right,” Bette Davis.
“If everyone likes you, it probably means you aren’t saying much,” Donna Brasile.
“The reward for conformity is, everyone likes you but yourself,” Rita Mae Brown.
“Group conformity scares the pants off me because it’s so often a prelude to cruelty to anyone who doesn’t want to–or can’t- join the Big Parade,” Bette Midler.
It’s worth thinking about. Where are you not speaking your truth? Where are you keeping silent when you know you shouldn’t. Where are you letting people assume you agree with them when you know in your heart there is something hurtful in what they are saying or doing?
Necessary change has always come from people daring to speak up, even when it was unpopular and in extreme cases, unsafe. Right now we still have a democracy. Implicit in that is the right to free speech. We need to use that in whatever way fits who we are. But staying silent is taken as tacit agreement with what is going on around you.
Speaking from hate, hurt, enmity usually doesn’t turn out well. So, how do we say what we need to when we see something we know isn’t appropriate?
11) Be willing to examine another position opposed to yours to find its merit.
For those of you who are writers remember that old quote, “The pen is mightier than the sword.” Either way give voice to what you feel impelled to express, in the best way you can. A life of regret is not a very good one. And we have examples in history of what happens when people do not speak out.
Wise words from a John Meyers song:
“You would be better off instead
If you could say what you need to say.
You better know that in the end
It’s better to say too much
Then never say what you need
to say again.”
My best to you and support for saying what you need to say.
Dianne, Destiny Coach
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